Aug 5, 2015

This is not the Summer of Love

But that's actually quite okay!

So after almost three years of having my ex as a constant in my life, 1 and a half in which we were "working on things" I've finally found myself to say, it's time to take space. That was most definitely hard. You go from being so dependent on someone for certain parts of your life to not having it all. & even though it hurts to move forward, I keep remembering that if he really loved me as much as I did, he would have done anything to keep me and not let the relationship become so selfish. I just wanted peace and happiness with someone who wanted drama and lies. Maybe one day our cards will play out, but for now it is what it is. My mind may be foggy from this whole thing, his probably too. Maybe one day we'll both be clear minded again to be able to find each other through all the bull shit. 

For the last three months I've grown close to another guy. No, I'm not in love with him. But I'd like to say he's kind of a soul mate of mine. We actually met on Facebook a couple years back (we of course had mutual friends). He was someone I could talk to when I had no one else, we bonded, we stayed up talking about ghosts and life after death and other paranormal things that interest me. I felt close with him. We'd have periods where we'd talk often and then a month passed with nothing at all, but every time I needed to vent to someone, he was the person I'd vent to. For never meeting me, he cared. & I thought he was special. We met in person and he makes me feel calm. He would do anything for me. He's in love with me. I, not so much for him. But I feel like our souls connect. He's a really good something special.

The bond I have to him is indescribable but I think I'm starting to realizes why I'm so connected to him. But, that is a whole other story and I'm not going to talk about that right now. 

Despite all the connection, I'm going to try and take this time of separation from my ex and find myself again. Figure out who Heather is again.. at a nice peaceful pace, and eventually move on. We will see.

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