Mar 5, 2012

A Letter to Baby Heather

Baby Heather is something I've always been called by family members (no matter my age), because I am the baby. I like that people still call me that because in a way it makes me feel the love I felt when I was little. I was always loved unconditionally by my family. I decided to do what Alana did and write a letter to my younger self. No mine isn't as put together as hers. I swear she would be great at writing a book! Just by reading that entry I can tell her writing is so thought out! Anyway.. Back on topic! I'm linking up with her and writing a letter to myself!

Dear Heather,
    The funny thing about writing this letter is that even though I'm you from the future, I want to write this with much respect. I want to write this in words that you will understand. I want to write this how I would write this to any little girl. Although in recent years, I constantly beat myself up about certain things, this is what you deserve. A letter that's heart filled and not as cold as I sometimes treat myself.
    Up until 9 years old, you're life is what every little girls should be! So do what you're doing and enjoy every part of it. Enjoy every cook out and every birthday party with friends and family. Enjoy the boat rides with family, Enjoy the slumber parties. Enjoy the vacations, going to Disney world and New York. Admire and await the holidays all year long because they are always so magical. Give unconditional love to your mom and dad. Yes you should most definitely favor your mom for spoiling you, but don't forget to be the daddy's girl you are. Because one day the motorcycle rides, going to work with him, going to feed the birds at the park, and all the great stuff he did as a dad will be something you remember most. Although things go down hill and family will fall apart, none of that will eventually matter. You will forgive. And the childhood memories will matter the most. One day you'll look back at these times and see nothing but pure perfection. Let me tell you - even though you know this - even though you've never doubted this, your mom and dad will always love you unconditionally and have never stopped.
    Next you'll learn how much can happen in just a few years. You'll learn about addiction. You'll learn about and have to go through a lot more then any kid should have to. You'll realize that you, mommy and daddy are no longer the three musketeers. Mommy finds someone new, someone great. So don't let that worry you. He'll let you practice driving his car, he'll practice for cheerleading with you, he'll even let you do his make up!  Daddy will move to New York to help grandma in her last few years of life. Daddy will bring his mom happiness.
    DCF is introduced to you when you're 9. They thought since mommy and daddy had an addiction, that they weren't being good parents. But they were always parents before anything else. But the addiction needed to be stopped. For three and a half years you moved from home to home. City to city. But don't let this frighten you because you're brave. As you and daddy will always say "you're a big brave dog" (Chuckie from Rugrats). You were able to meet new people in a way that the older you doesn't know how. You were able to trust and believe. It took a while for mommy and daddy to get help, but they did. Mommy made a choice and daddy had no choice, but they were saved from drugs. 
    You're life finally becomes settle when you move in with you're mom and the guy you eventually look at as your step dad. You're almost 14 at this point and starting High School. Should I even mention the awkward days of middle school? Let's leave it at one word. "Phases". But hey, don't beat yourself up over this. You were going through a lot. Okay so at 13 almost 14, you move to a new City. Start High School with people you've never even seen. But all and all you will feel at home. This will be home for the next four and half years! You're going to do just fine in High School. For the most part it will go smooth. Without any serious drama that you hear about. Or maybe there is drama but it wont bother you because the worst is over now. You will be happy. You will have great friends and you will be gorgeous! Trust me. You'll realize EVERYTHING happens for a reason. That's why you're so calm and have a good outlook on life. That's why you become so carefree!
    You're probably wondering about your love life right about now.. Well, let's just say through High School there will always be someone you're crushing on. Someone that you straighten your hair and put your make up on for every morning. Someone you'll try and look hot for even while wearing your school uniform. These crushes like you too but being that you like what you can't have, you stop liking them and move on to the next. Thank God for that too because you wont experience a serious heart break. Which the older you must say is pretty painful.
     After High School you're first real regret will happen. Then your second real regret will happen. After High School you will be forced to move away. Move away from your life and your friends. Your best friend and you continue to be best friends but eventually grow apart. In this new or you can say old town, you'll attempt college, but you'll wonder if it's really for you. You'll jump from job to job but eventually you'll stay at a job for longer then three months which makes you proud!

    When you're 19 you'll get some horrible news about daddy having lung cancer. When you're 19 things will sometimes feel like they're falling apart. When you're 19 so much will seem catch up to you and depress you. I'm making nineteen sound horrible, aren't I? It's not because in a way these breakthroughs will feel like you're breaking out of a depression that's unknowingly been there all along! The tears will only bring a great feeling of happiness afterwards. At nineteen you slowly, painfully, but surely become a better person!

    When you're nineteen you'll also meet a boy who you consider your first real boy friend! You'll get a few months of happiness. You'll love him. The relationship wont last though. You lose contact with him. But it wont leave you bitter. Instead you'll be happy just knowing he's okay. Because after everything you'll still believe everything happens for a reason!

Love, YOU from 2012!


Alana Christine said...

Thanks for linking up!
Idk what you're talking about, that was VERY well written and put together.
You have been through so much in your life--I'm so glad you can be positive about everything!

lushdeez said...

That's a cool idea! I've seen and thought about doing a letter to my older self, but never considered the younger self letter.

My family calls me Sissy still because that's what I was nick named when my two brothers were around, I get the same feeling haha.