Oct 16, 2012

The Time I Lost a "BFF" by Asking if She's OK

Happy Tuesday - ready for story time? 


Well today is the day of the Relay for Life kick off, in which I wont be attending because of friend drama. It's not really even drama. It's as if our friendship never even existed. But I'll let you know what happened so you have a better understanding.

We were really close friends (or so I thought). I literally put up with so much in this friendship. We made plans together that she would constantly back out of because she was beyond indecisive. We would be BFF's one day and it was as if she barely knew me the next day. I always let that stuff go because I liked hanging out with her, I felt like I could really talk to her, I always had so much fun when we did things together, I felt like we shared the same stories and that we were each other. It was kind of like we were soul sisters. If we were out and she had no money to pay for food, I would pay for hers. She didn't have a car so every time we hung out, I was picking her up & taking her home. But of course, none of that mattered because I really liked hanging out with her and thought I meant something to her, too! A couple hours after hanging out one night (& her acting distant the whole time), I log on to Facebook and I guess judging by my status she could tell I was sad. So she asks what's wrong and I tell her. No warm words or friendly advice in exchange, just short distant-ness. So I ask if she's OK. She says "yes, but I don't think you are". *confusion* who says that? So then I ask "are you sure?" and in response I get "Yes I'm fine and I don't have time for your Facebook message drama, have a good night Heather". What the hell? A few days later she texts me asking if I wanted to hang out. I lied and told her I was busy (I was still hurt), but ended up messaging her the next day a longish message asking if we could do something that week and to let me know when she'll be free. I get "yeah" in return. Never a text or call to do something. Never another word. It hurt but now honestly, I'm okay. Would you still be my friend if I cared about you enough to ask if you were okay?

This may sound awful, but the reason I won't be going to the Relay kick off is because she's close friends with the team leader. I actually really like the group leader, but the group is small as it is. I would be sitting there with a girl I barely know and a girl I no longer know. I don't like feeling awkward and unwanted in social groups. Is that understandable? But even though I wont be attending the team meetings, I will be attending the big event in May, and I will continue to donate money to charities. I still hope to put a stop to cancer one day. I'm so happy I was able to raise $50 towards this cause, thanks to my lovely sponsors.




*****Don't forget to enter my giveaway for a chance to win a $25 gift card to Starbucks*****


30 comments:

NATALIE said...

you definitely deserve better than that, a friend is suppose to pick you up not kick you down (that sounds cheesy but is oh so true). Just give it time and she will see that she has taken a good friend for granted xo

Jessica said...

I am so sorry. I hope that maybe you guys can patch things up. you deserve better. just give her some space and then try talking to her again.

Laura @ Twenty5seven said...

Friends are supposed to be there for you and make the world a happier easier place. You dont need her drama, seriously!

I'm following you from the GFC blog hop at The Life Of A Not So Ordinary Wife. Would love for you to follow me back http://www.twenty5seven.org

Sara Louise said...

I always think that the older we get, the farther removed we are from drama like this, but sometimes it can pop up at anytime. It's horrible! You're much better off without her, and give for you for raising money for charity :)

FBTemily said...

You are so much better off without someone like that! Focus of yourself and your happiest! She is not worth it xxx

Ashley from Ashley Living Life Arduously said...

I recently lost a friend in a weird but similar circumstance. Some people are simple aren't suppose to be permanent fixtures in our lives.

Allie @ Tales of a TwentySomething said...

Girl! It was like I was reading my own life up there! My EX BFF was very similar to that and now that we are no longer friends my life is SO much less stressful. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be in your life. It takes getting used to, to get to the point where you are okay with not being their friend, but you will. And you'll look back and be like "I did all I could do, and if she couldn't appreciate that, then she isn't worth it."

Karen said...

Sorry for the friend drama! Friendship should be easy.
BTW...my favorite drink at starbucks is hot chocolate :). Hope you have a great week! xoxo

Samantha Justine Zamora said...

hi there! I saw your blog on GFC blog hop and I'm now following you! I hope you follow my blogs as well... cheers!

www.citybehindthefog.blogspot.com
www.officiallygirlyfied.blogspot.com
www.psychochicklessons.blogspot.com

Dara said...

thanks for stopping by my blog. my fave starbucks drink is white choc mocha. sorry about your friend!

menopausal mama said...

She doesn't sound like a true friend at all--forget about her and look for some new friends who can be HONEST with you! Following you back from the blog hop!

Charlie's Mommy (Beth) said...

That's not a true friend. Sorry to hear this, but sometimes you just have to let it go.

SMM said...

I'm just curious if she was from a northern, mid-west state. lol I had someone do the same thing to me. There was a little more involved, but in the end we weren't friends. It sucked for a little bit and then my life moved on and I was okay with it.

Wifessionals said...

Hi pretty girl!

I'd love to think that by 25 (my age) things like this would have disappeared...it's just a high school, mean girls, drama filled kind of thing, right??? Wrong.

This girl does not sound like a good friend. In fact she sounds like some "friends" I've had who are dramatic because they either like the attention or like feeling some sort of control over you...I know it may sound weird, but I've had friends that thrive off acting up and down because they like people always asking "What's wrong?"

Keep your head up and keep ladies like this out of your life (:

Kaitlyn

Meg {henninglove} said...

sorry for the friend drama but i think as much as it hurts now you will be better off in the long run. plus im sure you have better friends to turn too, more uplifting ones!

z1debutante said...

i hope things get better with you and your friend! New follower from the blog hop!

Pam Mower said...

Hey Lovely,

I have had this kind of thing happen to me and I have seen the same thing happen with other friends. Some people thrive on the drama of it all and need to be in the center of the universe, even if they way their acting makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward.

You are a beautiful girl and I hope she comes to her senses for her own sake.

I have come to realize that when you are always the one giving it's pretty much a one-sided relationship and maybe it's time to move on to bigger and better things :) Good Luck! xoxo, Pam

SarahJane Miller said...

Just found you through the GFC blog hop!! I am your newest follower, excited to get to know you! Would love for you to stop by and follow along if you'd like :)

sjdmiller.blogspot.com

Jenn @ My Not So Glamorous Life said...

I love the raspberry mocha!

Sippy Cups and Pearls said...

pumpkin spice latte during this time of year! By the way, newest follower! Found you via twitter!

Holly said...

Uh...what? That "friend" sounds like someone you're better off without!
Dropping by from the GFC blog hop. :)

Jamie said...

She does not sound like a good friend :(

New follower.

Jamie said...

And my favorite drink is a vanilla latte.

Emi said...

i would LOVE this so much! my favorite drink is probably the caramel apple cider..yum! XOXOX fingers crossed!

mail4rosey said...

It does hurt when a friend snubs, but don't let that keep you from going anywhere you want to, or doing anything you want to...that just makes it about her, and there's way more to you, than her (or anyone else for that matter). :)

Susan said...

I'm sorry that your going through all of this. Some people just thrive on drama. I know that it's gotta be painful, but try to think about other friends that you have that give as much as you do.

Sophie said...

:( that's so sad. I once lost my best friend over nothing too. She just cut me out completely. But after 2 years of not talking we met up the other day and rekindled. So keep your head up :) xxxx

Yesi said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I too lost a friend over a year ago over something so stupid. But in the end you realize they obviously werent real friends. Only the real ones stick aroud no matter what. It was very childish of her to treat you the way she did because you were obviously more than a great friend to her!

Either way, don't worry about it. Life goes on and you will find a bagillion best friends closer than she will ever be! Example? All of your blog friends (;

xoxo Yesi <3333

Janna Renee said...

That girl does NOT deserve to be your friend if she acts like that! You deserve a lot more than that. {{Hugs}}

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